I know I don't get to just show up. So I built you a page instead.

You always said actions speak louder than words. Fair. So here's a grand one, and I mean everything underneath it. Scroll, there's no rush.

On the tennis court, your terrible forehand, and me pretending I wasn't already trying to figure out how to see you again. Whatever happens after this page, that day still happened, and I'm still glad it did.

A few things I kept

swipe through, seven of them, for now

i.

The tennis court, right at the beginning, when we first started dating.

ii.

The court, way past the point where either of us could still see the ball.

iii.

You, mid laugh. I loved how you used to just goof around.

iv.

You making a heart with your fingers because you know it gets me every time.

v.

Bad lighting, worse angle, still one of my favorites.

vi.

The year we matched costumes and you still made it look effortless.

vii.

Two years in, and you still let me talk you into a mirror selfie.

Things I still notice

• Purple and black, obviously

  I still can't walk past either color without thinking of you. Which, unhelpfully, is most stores.

• You becoming a nurse

  You are going to be the calm in someone's worst day, and they won't even know how lucky that is.

• The scrapbook

  I hope it continues to grow with me. Soon we'll have one together.

"I'm not asking you to forget why things were hard. I'm asking for a conversation, in person, no page, no script, where I actually listen instead of waiting for my turn to talk. That's the part I got wrong before."

No pressure. Just an open door.

whatever you decide, I mean it. Take your time